And Most Importantly, Cats

I share all sitting and sleeping surfaces of my home with two excellent cats. “What does that have to do with your professional life?” you might ask. Okay well first of all, I think it’s pretty obvious that I don’t have anything resembling a professional life. I bought this domain name to create a professional author site and look how it’s turned out. And this is me really trying! Professional isn’t my destiny. So what? I’m plenty of other adjectives. Secondly, getting to know my cats is an honour and a privilege, way more of one than getting to know me. Ask anyone who’s met them. What even am I? Just yet another writer with a website where they talk all about the writer they’re being, who cares. But these cats though. These cats!

Below: Larry (s’more-point Siamese). She’s a lover, not a scholar. A huge derpface most of the time, but she somehow always looks stunning on my new furniture. I got her from a vending machine in 2015. She was selection A4 and cost $2.75. She’d obviously been there for a while–it was one of those old style machines with no credit card option and most people don’t really carry change anymore–but don’t worry, she’s got a sweet life now. Many poets have tried and failed to do justice to the softness of Larry, and have since moved on to other topics.

Old furniture Larry. Uhhmm…


New furniture Larry. Majestic.

Below: Peter (fat, grey, arthritis). She is over 15,000 years old, an entity from another galaxy who came to Earth by mistake, kind of liked it, and decided to stay for a while rather than making the long boring trip back home just to resume her job as a mid-level corporate somethingorother. Having observed the goings-on of Earth and reached the conclusion that felines are the top species here, she scrupulously attempts to approximate the mannerisms and sounds of a cat, and often comes close to succeeding.

Peter likes shoes.
Is this how a cat is??? Yes??? [makes meow-approximating alien sounds]